Smithism Christianism

From birth, we embark on a quest of establishing self-identity.   Our first words indicate a demarcation from anyone else in the words “no” and “mine”.  We learn to write our name.  We discover and develop our strengths. We are taught to feed ourselves, dress ourselves and in all other ways take care of and serve ourselves.

 Then along comes Jesus and his teaching that if we are to follow Him, we must deny ourselves daily (Luke 9:23).  Huh?  Why did God build in us such a strong sense of ‘self’ only to require the denial of it on a daily basis in order to live in accordance to His will?

 It may be worth noting a difference between self and individualism.  One can be unique in their identity without being self-focused or self-consumed.  Could that be the point of the Scripture: to understand where the investment of will is?  Do I invest the essence of my life to fulfill the will of God, or do I expend myself for my self’s sake?  It seems to go without saying that a self-consumed life greatly limits purpose beyond that life.

 Could it be then, that somehow, the existence of self is somehow directly tied to purpose?  That might explain why we as humans innately search for purpose.  If that is the case, then it is still not clear then why, if self is tied to purpose, Jesus teaches us to deny it daily.

 I believe there is another dimension involved, to which I alluded earlier – and that is will.  Without self-awareness, can there be any free will?  Without this strong sense of self would we have anything more to offer beyond that of a simple tool like say a wrench, or a dish-towel?  Could it be that this wild and powerful force in our lives we call our self then might not be a detraction from the will of God, but absolutely necessary in order to fulfill the will of God?

 Consider a computer screen. It is made up of thousands upon thousands of individual light-emitting points called pixels. They respond to instructions to emit one color or another, to maintain that color, or to change to another color. However, without any programming, they do nothing at all. A program can be written for them to display a picture, and it will be exactly as programmed.  At best, they will only ever light up, go dark, display this color or that. 

 Now imagine each one of us as a pixel, each with it’s own self will. If each pixel were to choose for itself what color it will emit and when, the multiplied effect among all the pixels would preclude any kind of coherent picture.  There could be random swaths of this color or that color for a fleeting moment, but nothing discernable.  So where does the ‘big picture’ come from then?  The Lord, of course.  When I deny myself (still as a pixel here) and display from the full palette afforded my by God, and I display what He wants, when He wants it, and for how long, then my ‘self’ upon being denied, glorifies God in a way that by my own will I could never do.  This would be like someone sitting in front of a computer and the pixels all deciding to submit to the will of the viewer, and by doing so, all coordinate with one another to create something truly miraculous. 

So then, If I choose to be self-ish, I am only lost in a sea of random meaninglessness. I may seek to proudly display my favorite color, or I may react to the colors of those nearby, but beyond that I can’t even know what I should or could be doing….my purpose is unclear.  It is impossible to, by looking only at myself and my circumstances determine what that purpose is.  By denying myself, however, in order to follow Jesus, I have joined something far greater than myself in scope and direction and am able to acheive something that tanscends even my singularly designed purpose! 

 So then, God’s design in the creation of us proves once again to be perfect!